Tag Archives: new everyday

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Ninety-Four)

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (10:51)
Day 94

Poem 1:
It was just us
Two people to eat dinner
I always thought the couple in the place
Who sat there staring at their food
It was their fault
Being so quiet.
Wrong, for not speaking,
Finding what to say.
We weren’t there because we liked each other
Just obliged by outside forces to eat as two.

Poem 2:
I don’t feel pretty
In those rare moments after
Too much makeup or too much made up wine
For a glimpse
I look beautiful.
I take that with me to go into tomorrow.
I use that nice feeling to get to tomorrow.
I turn it into part of the machine to keep going.

Poem 3:
I want him to like me
And rescue me
Say, of course,
I’ll buy you plane fair
No you’re not too young.
But I don’t want to break these dreams
These new dreams I have
Because I don’t often dream anymore
And these seem so nice.

Poem 4:
I’m still living in my parent’s house
Because I haven’t tried
And I can’t get myself to try.
I haven’t been able to stop
Look above the trees
Over the hedgemaze
To say, ah, that’s right,
I’m going over there.

Poem 5:
I found the dog that died’s tags
Little pieces of clinking metal
I’d thought I didn’t care
And that anything I felt past.
Here I am holding worn blue heart shaped
Years old tags
Crying.

Poem 6:
She always had to be better
That was fine with me.
But she never got the chance to know me.
To say, ah, this is she.
I will like her for these reasons.
Instead she called out, sister,
I loved you as a plaything when we were young
And I’ll treat you the same now.

Poem 7:
My hair picks up the dust around me
If I combed it all through
Holding the falling little bits
I would find the small pieces of me all around.
The fluff of the covers, a bit of nail polish,
A staple from important papers, flecks of paint,
And bits from my life.
My long hair holds bits of my story I’ve forgotten to tell
I can’t cut it off just yet.

Poem 8:
Mom accused us of not brushing our teeth at our Dad’s
We had to open our mouths for inspection.
She raved about our father,
Our ears switched from a minute ago
When all we heard were holding against a Mom.

Poem 9:
I won’t speak unless I know my ground.
Or have a source of information.
Unless I’m speaking to understand.
I don’t see how you can speculate
Without all the facts
And be wrong all the time.
I could never be wrong
Not in his presence.
He’d yell at us our ignorance.

Poem 10:
Celebrate the money
Nice suits, ties, dresses and fans.
When did being smart go away
As a negative.
Only the reserved question the idiots now
And only in their minds.
The money is held by the think I know bests
Friend’s of my mothers.
They don’t like being criticized.

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10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Ninety-Three)

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (8:45)
Day 93

Poem 1:
I scuffed my feet along the carpet
Of my Grandparent’s house outside of Chicago
I had my Christmas socks on
Mom had already threatened to leave twice.
But I had just figured out how to make my thin hair stand
On edge
And shock someone else.
To the front door
All the way to the box color tv set.
Swish shss swissh.
I put my hand on my sister’s arm
And I smiled
And she glared.

Poem 2:
She stood in line with my sister
And told her she would only pay for a few meals
While the line could hear them
At the pay counter to the deli.
As soon as they sat down,
Food in baskets in hands,
She said, no I changed my mind
I’ll pay for all our food.
This was my vacation.

Poem 3:
She said, you could have said
I was expecting you to do this for me
Instead of getting mad.
I said you would have gotten mad either way.
She said, you can’t predict what I would say.
I said why don’t you make me a list of appropriate responses.
I look her right in the eyes.
And she got to be shocked
She could raise a child so mean.

Poem 4:
I dance to the song that plays
And sing along
As loud as I can
Because I know all the words
And the beats.
I get to dance without pressure
Because I can’t hear anything
But the song in my ears
Dancing all along.

Poem 5:
She tells him how to pack
What to take
Double checks to redundancy.
But when she’s gone
He wont’ be able to pack at all.

Poem 6:
I’ve been so cold
The unwashed stiff white flower quilt in the corner became a
Safe harbor from the heat that wasn’t turned on.
I curled around myself my arms kept my chest warm
My hands balled in fists
As I tried to sleep to make morning come faster.

Poem 7:
He would say to us
I’d like to buy that for you
But I can’t afford it.
This is why I save money
And try very hard
Not to spend it on coffees.

Poem 8:
The floor boards creak a certain way
When she’s about to knock on my door
And give me a two second warning
To put myself on guard
And put the other one,
The behaved me
Up in front and center ready.

Poem 9:
I’ve said the wrong thing again
I keep messing up
It’s all my fault
I can’t do this right without practice
And I’m too scared to practice.

Poem 10:
I’m so cold.
I’m so cold.
I’m so cold.
If I say it like a mantra
Maybe it will go away.
I’ll get so used to it,
That like spring shorts
I’ll be fine with skin in snow early in the year.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Ninety-Two)

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (11:20)
Day 92

Poem 1:
When greyhounds die
Some of them wail and cry
Whine with their last breath
The doctor said she wasn’t sure why
But warned us,
That even though our dog was sedated
She still might cry out.
I wanna die like that
Screaming at the world
One more time before I go.
To say I was here once,
Hear me now.

Poem 2:
She should have told me
Sat me down and said
This is how it works.
But my mother never sat down to explain
She was too busy running
Here or there.
But I would have liked to know,
If I’d asked her
She would have said,
Of course you know how that works
You should know how to do that by now.

Poem 3:
I’m so scared some moments only live In my head
Someone could lose them
My important moments
Someone should remember
A person who’s parents both don’t have dementia
Because my brain will go dark on the scans soon.

Poem 4:
I waited up till sunrise
Sitting on my kitchen countertop
Because I love winter sunrise on snow.
But it was a gray morning
And I couldn’t tell when the sun had come up
I’d waited for nothing.

Poem 5:
He said
If no one takes the blame
If it’s your fault.
You must step up and say so.
That’s the only piece of good advice he’s given me.
Just the one.

Poem 6:
She collected teacups
And only drank coffee.
She never left her husband
Because she deserved this life.
She had to have people around
And became a stay at home wife.
She only married
To answer her body’s need for kids.
And she’s going to die soon
Still funnier than I’ll ever be.

Poem 7:
She looks like she knows me
But that could be how a dog licks a burglar.
She can’t remember my name
But seems sure I belong.
So I’ll stay and tell her things I told her yesterday,
And she’ll listen.
She pats my hands when I say bye grandma.

Poem 8:
People haven’t stopped talking
Just because we hold black boxes in our hands.
Taciturn people stay quiet.
Shy people might not want to talk.
It might be rude,
But people don’t change being people
Because they can hold the world
In their phones.

Poem 9:
I lent them money
I did it instantly
When asked.
But it breaks my rule
And won’t turn out well
Never lend
Never borrow.
My instant social cues
To what they needed
Overrode my logic warnings.

Poem 10:
To make a person that has my eyes
Would fill me with pride
But I’m not sure I want to pass all my doubt
Down another generation.
No one deserves to think the thoughts I’ve thunk
Even if they only get my good parts.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Ninety-One)

Hello to you, my one reader. I have an announcement, a small one. I’ve decided when I’m going to stop writing ten poems in twenty minutes daily. I think I’ll make it to a hundred days in a row, just for the ring of the number. I think following that, I’ll just post the poems I’ve written that day. It could be one, it could be ten, but this way the pressure subsides, and allows for lack of time.

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (10:46)
Day 91

Poem 1:
You have to left me go
If I ask
You won’t ever hold me.
But maybe not,
Maybe I’m not an ethereal, graceful, floaty wisp of a thing
I’m possibly constant, true, solid and stuck.
I just never knew the right people.

Poem 2:
I slept but it didn’t feel as any time had past
One hour
I imagined a wily grin on a face of an old teacher.
Another moment
I ran from a sea monster on a boat.
And I opened my eyes again to find it noon.
My dreams were the only thing I did today.

Poem 3:
She encouraged me toward anarchy
I realized later
Just to test out her theories.
She said
Think of all you have to trust
When you’re driving down the road
All those strangers
And you have only just to hope
That they follow this set
Of rules.

Poem 4:
I nicked my finger with a butcher’s knife while cutting onions
My eyes held water.
And I felt myself get nauseous from the blood
I don’t get sick from the sight of red
I never have.
I kept telling myself that
While I lost my peripheral vision
Hey, you, body, this isn’t anything to be sad about.

Poem 5:
I met friends of a boy I knew
And I played dances with the fences in the eyes
And territory of the brown hair girl who clung to him.
But I disarmed her little, by doing what she didn’t expect
I saw the shock myself.
I ask her questions directly
Ignoring the boy, who I wanted to know.
So that I could go back to eating my food
Without a territory battle of words.

Poem 6:
I’ll run in the flat fields
With my never ending flat feet
Through the rows of harvested corn
Never run out of sunshine or land
Because it all goes in a straight line
I’ll go in a line
To say hello earth, this is what I sound like
When I live for now.

Poem 7:
I seem so small
Even my dog runs faster
And my pillows are wider
My table sturdier
I have no mountain in me.

Poem 8:
Our escape stack in piles
Leaf upon leaf
Shelf upon shelf
Floor to ceiling
Page to page
They hold you in there
Say, come and stay
And forget how the rest of your brain works
While you read.

Poem 9:
He never lived in my world
I thought he was there.
My sister and I spent the weekends and summers with our father.
Not my brother though, the half one.
I never thought how different my life could be
From a few days.
But those away from our mother
Held poverty, and cold, and pride and decorum
And a yelling man who didn’t know
What to do with two little girls.

Poem 10:
He asked,
Is this ok?
That new to use red brick square house
He implied, if we didn’t like it we could leave
As if we had a choice.
That was the first time I remember
I saw I had no power.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Ninety)

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (11:09)
Day 90

Poem 1:
I vote tomorrow
Not written on a paper and mailed in
But in person
Tailed
Counted
One of the many.
I matter to someone who paid good money to put ads on tv.
I contribute to community.
I enter stats books.
Somewhere an excel sheet has my name next to a date
With my demographics.
And that makes me happy.

Poem 2:
When she finally kills herself,
However she choose to do it
I’ll say finally.
It’s done.
I’ll spiral with self-hatred on what I could have done.
But I’ll get to be resigned.
That she’s once and for all done.

Poem 3:
I practice sitting straight
So my back makes a perfect line
And I’m not curved forward with my head bent.
I see straight and tall
With myself below me.
All of me below my eyes
And my chin jutting out
So my body can be prideful
And I can retreat in my mind.

Poem 4:
Today, it was supposed to be today.
I had it all to do it
I promised myself.
It was going to be today
I had planned it all out.
And I ruined it
Like I do everything.

Poem 5:
I’m not the youngest anymore
Less pressure on me
Fewer eyes
I’ll hide over here again
And be quiet so I don’t say anything wrong.
But they seem so comfortable where I was before.
So graceful with all the right words to say.
They’ll forget about me so that’ll be ok too.

Poem 6:
The night I broke down
My wheels stopped spinning
I cried in my mind
If there’s a psychic out there help me.
No one came.
So I cried out with all the words I knew how
To all the number with faces in my phone
But I hadn’t talked to them in too long.
I cried to myself again instead,
How could you let this happen?
And my family didn’t know the words I used
For I’d never used them before,
I had tried to say help.

Poem 7:
I wanted her to be in a good mood
She would be fierce otherwise
So I dragged my laughter with hers
Forcing her to laugh with me for social compliance
Knowing that once she told me what was wrong
She’d laugh and be better
I could take the bags she held in her arms
So she could ease with my laughs.

Poem 8:
The leaves crusted on the trees sound like rain in the dark wind
Outside my window
The birds try to get in the maroon shutter next to the pine tree where they live
Outside my house.
And I hear through walls all that goes on out there.

Poem 9:
I’ll find some hobby that I enjoy
And do that in my spare time
That’ll be it
What will break though each day
Plow through with merging of memories
And get me to old age.

Poem 10:
He asked us to describe our families so we could learn the new language he taught.
Each in turn
Told sisters and brother counts and tallies.
Then we asked him
Why don’t you have any kids.
And I saw it hurt him,
But we kept asking
A group of idiot teenagers,
About something so intimate.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Eighty-Nine)

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (8:03)
Day 89

Poem 1:
I run my life ninety-five percent of the time on sheer will power.
It’s just that other bit,
A sliver really,
When it all goes today hell.
Like today
When I couldn’t get out of bed.
She told me how she knew she was getting sick yesterday.
But she’d said that the week before, and the week before
And if she said it enough it would finally come true,
So she can listen so well to the rhythms of her body.

Poem 2:
In my mind I screamed
I burst vessels from the sound
I wanted out of the vassal they’d trapped me in
I don’t want to be subordinate to anyone
I want to be my own
Without pre-notions.
But I can’t be as long as I’m here.
And I’m here till forever,
Because you never really grow up
From your childhood home.

Poem 3:
I should have started the fight by asking
Are you high
Can I talk to you
So nothing came in from the blue
And I sounded a bit less foolish,
But I’m nitpicking the start
Just to find a place to bill some blame
And make it not my fault.

Poem 4:
In infuriating madness
I was trapped in the logic of another
Who won’t put my thinking into place.
Of course you want to go
I’ve asked you
And I want to go.

Poem 5:
Our parents left us with their parents for a week
So they could spend money in Vegas.
They bought me a blue unicorn for my troubles.
Grandpa took us to the zoo as a rare treat.
He wanted us to be happy because it was a gift.
But I saw my sister didn’t like it.
So I didn’t like it.
And my brother went along.
We were reported to our parents
As not liking the zoo,
Caged animals that we were.

Poem 6:
I can’t feel safe to sleep
Unless I imagine arms around me
Phantom shadow limbs only my sleep tired brain feels
Till I forget to be awake.

Poem 7:
He’ll have a new girlfriend in a week
Some men find women
Good women or bad women
At least their tattoos don’t have names crossed off.
They attract them with their jobs and wrinkles
And carried over 90s chains of style.

Poem 8:
It all blurs together
Unless you can remember one instant of how it felt
Then you remember what you thought at the time
And what you were worried about
And it all comes back for a second
Before your hear and now thoughts intrude on the past
And it becomes stained with your remembering of it
For the next time you remember that little blue box with the carved lid
It will be remembering how you felt the last time you remember you thought of seeing it.

Poem 9:
The dog barks at the washer
When it rocks the floor
After the clothes go off balance
If you put them in crooked
And you forget the soap
To make it all ruined
Just to have to start all over again.

Poem 10:
I love the freezing breaths of winter
Shock the lungs with power of ice
Ice in your breath
Ice in the heart
But the air’s still there
So you breathe it in
And contain the cold
Until the cold isn’t as cold as it was in October.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Eighty-Eight)

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (9:19)
Day 88

Poem 1:
My Brother
Says he’s not like you guys
With our silly voices and accents.
He set us apart
As I never have
To say I’m not like you two girls.
He othered me,
That is you over there,
And me right here.
We’re not the same.

Poem 2:
I blocked his way
Instead of moving the chair
Or saying excuse me
He huffed and found some mad.
She had to ask him, what’s wrong.
Because he fumed instead of explaining.

Poem 3:
I don’t like confrontations
So I avoid the people
Or dodge quick
When I see them coming.
But this can feel worse
To the person on the other side
Who isn’t sure what they did wrong.
As they told me today.

Poem 4:
It’s cold out so we got ice cream.
If you remember how cold it can be
Everything else feels warmer
That’s her theory.
A remedy for the chill.

Poem 5:
I’m so nervous and fearful
That by staying in this house
For free, with family I should have already left,
I’ll pick up their meanness and bickering,
I tried so hard to leave behind.
I’ll become an angry person just to fit in.

Poem 6:
I felt like a block to a feather
And a cannon ball to a blue bead
Or concrete to a wisp.
I saw them run
And I sat on the bench.

Poem 7:
Nobody told me and I was too scared to ask.
I’ve done it twice now in the past two weeks
And I’m tired
Would so much rather check out
With a receipt that summarizes.

Poem 8:
I’ve lived someone’s lifetime
I have walked for as long as they’ve blinked
And I could smile for all the time they crawled.
Makes me a better human
To have more of my life meter filled.

Poem 9:
I found a box of prizes that were mine
A little blue slinky
One purple sequined mirror
A miniature piano from the dollar store
My hands remember these
From when they were smaller.

Poem 10:
Hold me please
I’m shivering
And having nightmares from the babies that died in my dreams yesterday
Tell me it’ll be all right
That smiling grin won’t do any harm
It won’t eat the cats in your imagination.
It was all yesterday.