Tag Archives: drinking

Poems for the Week (7/6)

The schedule is now more like a rough outline. Anyway, this is what I wrote this week

I wonder what I’ve done to permanently injure someone else
And I never knew.
I wonder who’s memories I haunt
And if our spirits cross in each other’s memories to wave hello to a friendly face.

I knew a girl with my first name.
I thought she should keep it.
It fit her.
It fit her far better than it fits me.
I’ve always thought of it like my body, a trap instead of one together.

I’ve found my temporary freedom card in an odd place.
It was under the seat of the old car.
I plug my phone into my car and let music play.
I sing as loud as I want driving to work.
I sing off, I constantly rewind, I’ll listen to that part again.
I bear no one’s standards. I get yell and howl and screech.
Only where no one hears me – that’s as strong as I am.

I pushed myself into the cracks so that she wouldn’t notice me, and I had an excuse to be shy.
My Mom usually forgot about me. I thought that has a nice ring to it.
So I wouldn’t draw attention or ask for, then I could bemoan my state.
But you can’t tell her that. You can’t blame her for anything. Don’t you know what she went through?
We take the blame, and smile at you, and add another edge, next to our broken teacups.

The first time I met you, we sat on the floor off the right wing of the art building. I cut cardboard and you sketched lines.
The first time you schooched over toward me, I flinched when you touched my arm.
I told you, you shouldn’t smoke, and you asked me why I cared.
You played guitar for me by the naked lady fountain and I stared at our Converse.
You said you wanted to be an anesthesiologist because they made the most money.
I told you, you can’t buy a suit jacket that falls that far down your wrists.
Then we just stopped running into each other. And I blamed me, my defects, something wrong, prolonging the incapacitation of confidence. I read somewhere that if they really want you they go after you.
My number hasn’t changed.

I always think, if you’d have just told me,
By this point, I’d be able to stand on my own two feet.
Instead of amounting to debt and new excel sheet lines in inventory.

Next time, you tell me you’re never drinking again.
What do I say?
Good. I’m glad?
What do I do when you go on a bender?
Do I just sit and wait to remember all the times you told me you’d stop after college?
Go on, brush me off, I’m not important.
When do you take me seriously? Is there something unserious about me?
What do I say when you ask for another twenty just to cover tonight?
Don’t brush me off. Please.
No, you know what? I’ve done all I can.
Destroy yourself now. That was a command not an insult.

I don’t let anyone speak to me like that.
But I’m tied to you, I need your money.
So I say nothing.
I add another tack to my miserable, and say
You could have prevented this, you could be somewhere else by now,
If you weren’t you.

It’s rained for three straight days.
So I wore black jeans in summer, to say,
Hello sky, I commiserate with you.

You condemned my curiosity. I will not absolve you of that.
You mock whatever isn’t your standard.
I use that tool now. I know how to make people feel ashamed of trifles, because you taught me.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Fifty-Three)

I wore my favorite necklace yesterday. Favorite things are fun.

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes
Day 53

Poem 1:
He drove us to the wrong steakhouse
I knew we were going to the wrong place
But I didn’t say anything
I waited for him to be wrong.
I didn’t want to get wrath of
“Are you sure.”
Then anger because he was wrong
So I waited while we drove to the right one
Him fuming all the way

Poem 2:
I said his eyes are captivating
He said you’re captivating.
I brushed off the compliment
Silly, unrefined, he’s just joking
I lost him, I could be free with
After he started flirting

Poem 3:
I see other people in movies
It’s where I make my friends
These people I can see on screen
Talk to me
In my house
So I say hello friend
Welcome back
Let’s drink

Poem 4:
After I didn’t clean up
Or say thank you
For his getting me something new
He said, I’ll never buy you anything ever again.
He forgot that threat
I started using it as a joke.
Oh you’re late?
I’ll never sit next to you for the rest of my life.

Poem 5:
I wanted to break it off with him
But I didn’t know what to say
I thought, there’s nothing wrong with you
I should like you as you are
But I’m two straw hairs from saying
So I used an excuse that was true
But not the real why
My Grandma just died all my emotions are tied there
I’m sorry.
But really, you’re too peppy, it hurts my head.

Poem 6:
When you love the whole world
Before or after the whiskey
They should ship you out to depressed people
Go to them and say
I love you. I love you. I love you.
I’ll know you’re drunk
But you’ll be wonderful.

Poem 7:
What do you want from me
She screamed at me
During the Christmas vacation
I had driven the four hours to get to.
Nothing, I stared blank eyed.
Nothing I want nothing.
I don’t attach any more.
So they can’t say I’m clinging.
I won’t bother you any longer.
No love from sisters.
I’ll just respond to you when spoken to.

Poem 8:
I carry a sewing kit she used to put on the buttons that fall off her shirt from the shape of a heart
Thanks for the thread
She tells me in class after she’s been sewing over her chest for ten minutes
To the attention of all the boys
Jealous of attention
Or of the love in the eyes of her boy

Poem 9:
I get an urge to start running
My legs, mind twitchy
Let’s go to get out of here
Crunch the toes on my foot
I need to move
Use this holding cells body

Poem 10:
I hate the fall
Nothing good happens in fall
The bugs aren’t dead yet
It’s hot and cold both
Fickle dumbbutt
And it’s everyone’s favorite season
Just because of colors
It doesn’t smell like anything in the air

It’s Today Still

drawing of a little kid with a sippy cup

can i still use sippy cups as an adult, is there a moratorium on the use of non-spillable portable cups