Tag Archives: about love

Dear R.P.H. (Letter #4)

I’m transcribing a series of handwritten letters I wrote, but never sent. Read the previous letters here.

Dear R-

I want to talk to you so badly it hurts. I hurt. You did this. And it meant nothing to you. What would I say if I sent you a message? Love me. Please just love me. That’s what it would say. I looked it up. It was a month ago. That’s so long. I’m insane. I still shouldn’t feel this.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Thirteen)

I’ve written ten poems in twenty minutes thirteen days in a row. I’m so glad I have a life.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes
Day 13

Poem 1:
I would have loved you if you’d have let me
If you would have looked at me
I would have I know it
And it would have been all yours

Poem 2:
There’s this part of me
that knows
as soon as I’m settled somewhere
for life
That I’ll leave in the night in the quiet
Never to return without a return address
And that will be fine

Poem 3:
She shakes now – that dying dog
She ran for so long
Circles around the yard.
Birds circling now above her head
She’s got nothing left to chase

Poem 4:
I did something today like I told myself I would
And it hasn’t gotten me very far
I still feel I should have done it earlier
Now I don’t want tomorrow to rise
Because I don’t want to have something to do

Poem 5:
She screamed yesterday in her quiet way not noticing it was she that was angry
Well I don’t like silence she said and no one else is talking why don’t you talk
She said
Why aren’t you guys saying anything
You make no effort to talk
She started a fight
And I thought for only the third time that day
I have to leave this place

Poem 6:
We can’t possibly all be stuck
Someone somewhere has to be able to move
Without attachments or responsibilities
Don’t you tell me this is as free as I’ll ever be
I can barely extended my fingers

Poem 7:
I try not to touch
Everything here belongs to someone else
I can’t move it
Scolding follows an out of place
What are you doing
Moving that
Living here
With your habits and your likeness and your preferences

Poem 8:
That back door to the garage opened early
Bodes ill
He’ll come say hi
And see what I’m doing
I see this ending well
Let me see what you’ve written about me
I’ll peruse through all your meanderings

Poem 9:
Trees in the pacific northwest
Not like here
I can turn in a circle and see the end of the land
Know what’s coming
Hear what I know.
It’s all right
Monsters sneak up behind except these creatures you can’t see coming

Poem 10:
New girl in the pods at middle school
She twitched and had long bristle straightened hair and long clicky nails
She looked for someone to share fear
And found none in me
I could have taken her in
And friends for life for rescuing for saving for showing friendship
Instead I sneered hoping one of my wanted circles would see and take me after new blood
But no
I smiled without depth and introduced while turning my head
Regret, Catelin, I’m sorry