Poems from My Day (5/19)

i wrote ten of them. you know why.

1:
My dog led me along a thin and narrow path.
I followed her into the deep woods, into rivers
Under trees, I followed her.
We walked up a hill steep and narrow.
She yanked my arm,
Shot into the brush,
And brought me out a little squeaking groundhog.
I followed her while she buried it,
Then we went back to the car.
We had such a lovely time.

2:
She told me I have too much personality. These, hand brush, are cookie-cutters,
Like those boxes that only change from beige to brown,
You, you have too much you in you.

3:
If I wanted to,
I can find all your secrets. Anything you’ve tacked up.
It’s all still there.

4:
Who’s gonna pay for this?
Look at all this damage.
You did this to me.

5:
Tried a new place where the old Thai place used to be, had good drunken, sloppy, noodles.
I wanted to like it, for the spirit of the thing.
They showed off the same dusty black candle boxes, the same Vishnu painting with a mint tint.
The noodles were gummy and the chicken chewy.
I started singing Joni’s “don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
And I didn’t laugh at someone else’s joke. I’m still going through my, I want to be stoic and not laugh all the time phase.
My cheeks hurt now when I smile.
Their sweetened condensed tea wasn’t bad. One day, I’ll be on time. I’ll find the place I love and it won’t close before I’ve had my fill.
Too fancy philosophical for closing Thai restaurants? Yeah, I thought so.

6:
I drive over the limit when I’m surrounded in traffic.
But when I drive at two, after a Saturday of whatever it was,
I go the 55 exactly. I’m accountable more to myself than to the waves, then, I suppose.
I hear as my car starts to struggle with the second switch, my second switch hasn’t worked since I have to be exhausted to sleep.

7:
One of these I wrote for you, you know.
I’ll give you a hint. It was a love poem. Not that I write a lot of love poetry, or good love poetry, or good poetry at all. (I’m not fishing, don’t send me things, you butts)
I just want to talk with you. But I don’t know how to get you to open your instructions.
And if you do start talking, I don’t know what to say. I’ll say something to make you go away again. I always do. Then I miss you.
You said that to me once. I missed you. It made my day, you know? No you don’t.
I’ll be flying with my fancies over this way. Belittling myself again.

8:
I had to tell a story about something fun I did with my best friend from childhood. I couldn’t think of one.
And I started telling it and got that feeling of being boring, and made it worse.
I trapped myself, then got mad at being trapped, then made myself stuck.
We must have done something that was nice, that I don’t associate with embarrassment, shame, penance and disgust. And now I can’t think of any gleeful memory.
They’re only happy when I’m in a certain mood.

9:
So, then, big power in my mind.
I just get the one, then?
She gets me. She’s smarter, and funny as hell, I want to write down everything she says,
Mystical magical.
Same soul.
I just get the one though? I need another, please. Where do I fill out my form?
I’ll get on stage and recite lines for you. I want someone to know me.
Someone I’m not scared to hide the sections of me I only tell the dogs and strangers.
I tried to give it to someone else, pushed it, dropped, stained my floor, still there now, part of the furniture.

10:
I’ll never be good enough. Enough for me.
The competitive me wants more.
The styrofoam container kid in church, says you work for goodness.
But I still take comfort, sometimes, in thinking that the meek have something.
We’re supposed to get the Earth. I think I have that on a magic card as manna.

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12 thoughts on “Poems from My Day (5/19)

  1. Periodically Demented

    #4 in particular. Very cleverly done.
    #1 for the switch at the end. I like the way you’ve developed that style and it brought back memories of one you wrote about a boy who was just like you, so you thought he was a flake. That had me and others I told laughing for a few days.

    Reply
  2. personatus50

    1. Recognized the reference to
    https://somebadplankton.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/my-week-in-review/.
    Please congratulate me.

    2. I know how it feels. I also have too much me in me. Or too much you in me? Or me in you?

    3. I’m scared.

    4. No, you did this to yourself. See
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1esLO03fRg (fan-made video after E.S. died; I hope someone makes one like that for me after I go…)

    5. Wow. I like Joni’s “Big Yellow Taxi” too.

    6. Whaaa?

    7. OMG, how I wish I was the “you” here…

    8. If you look at yourself crying in a mirror, you cry harder. Oh, and this also works with yawning.

    9. Wow. Maybe put a carpet over it?

    10. You can be meek and still want more.

    Reply
    1. some bad plankton Post author

      1. Felicidades
      2. It’s “me in me” from your perspective. I think.
      3. You should be. Yes, you should be.
      4. Well, that was sad.

      7. Sadly, I’ll never tell the “you” this exists.
      9. You’d make a terrible murderer.

      Reply
  3. personatus50

    “And I didn’t laugh at someone else’s joke. I’m still going through my, I want to be stoic and not laugh all the time phase.”

    I know a girl just like that. She’s making me feel bad.

    I hope her cheeks also hurt if and when she smiles again.

    Reply
  4. joellemaxx

    hey– i love this. reminds me a lot of the writing I do when i need to work through thoughts, days. looking forward to reading more =)

    Reply

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