Monthly Archives: November 2014

A Little Story for Black Friday

I wrote a little story just now. I thought, maybe, I’d share it.

Duke came from a very fancy family. But he felt bad. He didn’t mean to get born into a such a world as this. He would rather sit in his corner and dig a hole where no one can find him. He tried to be quiet and small. No one could ever see him. He could melt into the furniture without a sound. He felt bad he wasn’t as tall as his brother. It made him feel upset someone only got one thing on their birthday. His mom told him, “be thankful.” He tried. He didn’t think he could be more full of thanks. Mom says, “you’re so lucky, when I was little we had to share boxes of chocolates.” Duke didn’t understand; his brother took his box of chocolates. Duke felt bad his shoes fit well, and he got new ones when they got holes in the bottom. He didn’t deserve it. Duke felt bad no one talked to him because his dad was important. Duke huddled in his coat so no one saw him feel bad. He didn’t want anyone else to feel bad for his feel-badding.

Neon Orange Sun Setting

photo of orange setting sun with a line of trucks

the sunset today flared this great neon orange color. i pulled off the side of the road and took this, it would have been better, but some dude started honking so i only had time to take two, and this is the better of the two, tells you about the quality of the other

The Poems I Wrote Today (November 27th)

I Wrote 10 Poems One After the Other
Day November 27th

Poem 1:
Home for Thanskgiving
But after I moved for school
Dad moved for work
And now I travel four hours to be
Home for Thanksgiving.
He said don’t feel obligated to come and see me
But I think I should, so I did.
And here I am
With all it’s quietness and hot food
In someone else’s house for Thanksgiving.

Poem 2:
He went through so much work for us
Made all these dishes on all these plates I never saw otherwise
This ceremony he takes up, otherwise shunned the pop of cultural
So we ate, but she usually had a cold
And would lean over to say
I can’t taste any of this,
Then tell him how great it all was.
He cooked because his mother cooked on the same day.

Poem 3:
I shouldn’t have been driving
I slept in my daydreams only
And I ran into the snow
Little flakes flew off at first
Then it stuck
I should have pulled over
Kept saying at this one the next exit
Behind blurring red dots of a FedEx guy.
If I’d ‘ve stopped I would have stayed stuck
Like after a while I couldn’t change lanes
Because of the ice in the middle,
Keep yourself there.

Poem 4:
I don’t mind you at all
I won’t have that all consuming passion
But I won’t mind
You’ll be there for a while
You can have me for a bit
Then give all my me back when I leave, please.
I’ll promise to give you back your change.
But I won’t mind, I don’t think.
I never expected to be attached,
Just scared to have no strings.

Poem 5:
And now, it’s been too long since I’ve seen people
I get all jittery
And giggly and I’ve lost all my charms
To be relearned to be with friends
If you’re around the vain who won’t let you talk.
I have to remember I’m worth a glance.
When I see a friend tomorrow.

Poem 6:
I love the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas
Not either of the holidays themselves
But just the stuff that goes around them.
Well I guess why
Is that we all seem to be thinking something like the same thing.
And I feel closer to the girl siting next to me.

Poem 7:
I’m so cold I can’t sleep
I wait for it to take me
So I’m less cold
Or forget I’m cold
Or something
Beyond
It’s cold.

Poem 8:
I flit across a memory
One I don’t want there
My hands freeze up
And I stare at what I was only looking.
I say, I’ll put this in a box
I have a case in my mind full of wands and witches and bits of rubber
They hold all my boxes
Some with extra tape
All the times I’ve fell.

Poem 9:
I need a buffer with me
For most people
Stand over,
Yes, right,
There.
In their way, in front of me.

Poem 10:
The first time I disagreed with my father
I learned I was wrong.
And just how wrong I was
With citations and page references
Footnotes and verse
There was no other option.

From November and Today

photo of the mississippi through the trees

walked up a bit of a ridge along the mississippi

Snowy Hillside

what is winter without minimal snow dusting. i’m not sideways, neither is the camera, it’s the trees i promise.

islands of the mississippi photo

here we can see small little islands of the mississippi, oh and there’s bit of snow on that bark there, that’s nice

photo of the sun setting in forest

oh well half of this picture is going to be half black. i am darkness. let’s cover that sun.

photo of split mississippi

the mississippi seems smaller the higher up the ridges you climb, maybe i need new glasses, perhpas, if i’m at a distance when i can squish something between my fingers, i lose all judgement

10 Poems in 20 Minutes (November 23rd)

Ok, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. I miss having a structure and a deadline to write poems. I really do. It’s like part of my day is missing. So I wrote more poems, off the top of my head. And I feel better about life.

I Wrote 10 Poems in 20 Minutes (7:09)
Day 11-23

Poem 1:
I’d like to think I’m good
A good person
Who does good
Well
Well, I mean, I’m not sure anymore
I can’t find a good judge
Someone who’ll fair judge me
And say,
Yes you do good.

Poem 2:
I spoke to my sister today
In a way I haven’t in a while
We talked of all we’d loved
All we’ve had
All she’s loved.
Because she has that in her
To love, this man
She loves him.
I’ve never had that in me,
I’m not sure, it’s even there.

Poem 3:
And I couldn’t speak
Everything I said got dissected
Or told that wasn’t right.
So I held my tongue
In the grip of polite.

Poem 4:
She says to us
You could have said it this way
And it wouldn’t have been mean.
So I write that down
In my playbook, my list
Of the proper phrases I can say to my mother
But she keeps editing
To say
I’m angry with what you’ve said
So I’ll keep picking at you
Cross that out and only ask for my love this way.

Poem 5:
Find me sunlight and
I’ll show you shadow.
I will.
Find me good
I’ll turn it wrong
Just by titling my head
And saying look how the sun shining on us
Misses all those over there.

Poem 6:
What do I say?
To my father when he asks where my job is.
How do I bargain with peace for stillness
So I don’t have to explain myself.

Poem 7:
I haven’t seen it
You know
I never have.
My face from your eyes.

Poem 8:
He said, let me get a job
And we can flirt with the idea
Of buying you a plane ticket out to see me
He priced them out for me.
I’ll probably hold grudges against him in time.
Just give me time
And I’ll find fault in the hundred percent.

Poem 9:
I sold something back
For less than I paid for it
So in effect
I spent forty dollars on my birthday and
Got hassle.

Poem 10:
I want to know what I’d look like skinny
If I was thin
How beautiful I would be
I can almost see my bones now
Without the added weight.
Beautiful in mirrors with pinched skin
And drawn on lines
With perfect shades,
We’re artists of our faces.

The Poem I Wrote Today (#2)

Grandma’s Copper Bottom Pan

I’m standing over my connection
Stirring melted marshmallows and butter
Making food for someone else.
The one thing of mine that’s a connection to the past
Of horse-theives and tangled branches.
We both stood over this pan, I’m sure.
Stirring up truths, looking for our base, past what’s there,
Watching it get covered again.
Me and Grandma,
I’ve got her thoughts because I use her stuff.