10 Poems in 20 Minutes (Day Twenty-Eight)

Here I am twenty-eight days later no closer to solving my problems, but still writing sillies.

10 Poems in 20 Minutes
Day 28

Poem 1:
It’s coming back I think
That’s what really scares
Because I went through it before
I don’t want it back
What keeps you from getting awake

Poem 2:
Last night it rained
Shook the house
The whole house
I put my hand on the wall to feel the shudders
I smiled and curled in the corner

Poem 3:
I want to say oh god I need a drink
But the thought stays where it is
All my bottles stand half empty in a cupboard
Drunk from some boy from some party
Because I’m scared if I listen this once
I won’t have a choice next time

Poem 4:
Sex ed taught in a Christian school
Our Bible teacher asked who’d started
Miss fishface with golden hair
Everybody raised their hands
Not me and Caitlin
They drew attention to us
These outcasts, for our bodies not working right yet
Next year, when her hand went up my hand did too
I screamed at my body what’s wrong with you

Poem 5:
I’m just putting off the conversation
To have with myself
It says
Here’s what you need to do
Job
Man
Babies
I just keep drifting without leaving the house

Poem 6:
He sent me a letter with the money
Look at all the strings
He told me in form all the wrongs and rights ahead
He got the right name and not my sisters
He wrote with pastor voice
Saying you must and why aren’t you
I twindled it up and set it on fire in my kitchen sink
No confrontation just ignorance

Poem 7:
I ate honeyed cheerios with a black plastic spork
The dying dog howeled early and woke me
Sleep evaded
So I balmed myself with grains and oats
Soothed with food
Because that’ll do

Poem 8:
He told our mother he’d buy us new dresses
2nd hand, off hand
I wore it, stained with brown spots on the curled up white thick lace collar
They all told us how pretty we looked
I learned, good people lie

Poem 9:
She dismissed me out of hand from her presence
Because he was from West Virginia
Saying go make your own friends
How do I do that
No one told me
Why can’t I stay with you safe
She laughed down at me
Turned my shoulders
And sent me down

Poem 10:
Car drives one hour and fifteen minutes
One house to the other
NPR rattled
I stared out the windows
She read in the back
Or talked to dad about
Oh you wouldn’t understand yet

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