I cannot say this without awe: for eighteen days in succession I have written poetry.
10 Poems in 20 Minutes
I shared a space with this friend of mine
With disregard, ignorance, and creaks
I thought her good when she moved in
But she treated me with disdain loudly
She would not empty trash
She did not clean the fridge
There were no smiles of hello
No common quest of questioning
Instead I heard the music she played, the skypes with her friends, and the booming looked over
My hands will stretch around the house
Scoop it up and take it with me
I will place it a big round canyon
So it can’t hurt me again
All these memories of this place with be filled without sun
I won’t think of what’s passed in these walls of this house of mine
He told me once, in a fair mood, about shooting with some sort of rifle
From some forgotten post in a tree during monsoon season.
This I didn’t want to hear.
The first one’s the only one that’s bad
Then they blur together
Now this knowledge resided in the head. This feeling of what happens at the falls.
If I remember correctly, some girl sued me for hitting her little red car.
So I sat with my mother’s blouse and blazer keeping my eyes from shaking my hands.
I had asked her if she was ok.
But only in pain now, in the lawyer’s room.
An ambulance came and went from that place.
I relived it until it stopped the flinching.
Suits required me to answer the questions of her lawyer who made fun of me, like all women, Who don’t remember which direction they were driving.
To make a friend
Two things, yes two
First you must meet someone and not immediately wish you hadn’t
Second you must meet them again and still not hate them
Then you can have yourselves a merry time
Hating those you hate together
The paintbrush in my hand wanted to paint the longest stripe in the world
So my arm could feel the motion
And my soul felt a little less rooted to the place
She said can I sit with you while you read
This was her kindness
I wanted a few walls of my own
Instead I got a loud page turner with a cold
So her nicety and self-congratulations of being so thoughtful made me wish for more alone
Who else answers my phone
Next time I’ll say
This is my phone how dare you call
Then you will think twice
And I will have to talk less
We got pizza served to us by a waitress who already begrudged my mom before we sat down
I smile and try to be nice to cover her domineering immediate water fill desires
But I’ll never tell her in public to be kind
Because I have to go home with the rude
She pressed on my skin and her eyes went wide
Your skin changed color with the sun
And then turns white underneath
Yes, this has happened regularly for years and is not new to me
Race comes in all forms of unknowing
And she tapped my skin a good ten minutes amazed white people did something