This marks day eight. I suppose this has become a daily thing now.
10 Poems in 20 Minutes
I opened my mouth to say something
But my mind clicked.
Should you say that
It’s not helpful
They don’t care
They’re just being courteous.
I heard the ring before I saw my phone
I watched it make sound
I notice who called
And I watch it chime for voicemail
She should be dead by now
I should feel happy that she’s alive
But I just keep worrying
If she wasn’t here
What could become of this wasted worry time
I’m going to hate these thoughts when she does die
Maybe she won’t die
Then I won’t hate these
Mr. green car died
Charles told me
He had a friend in my neighbor
Even though his car took some hits
He would sit in front of our house
Did he ever notice we were there
He stayed too high maybe
Good morning little toes.
I see you down there.
I ran my nails through my hair
One little nitch in one pinky nail caught on one piece of hair
And I ran the hand again
Pulled out two hairs
And my head feels uncombed
At 3:40 in the morning I sit in a chatroom, this weird place, watching movies
We start talkin politics and presidents and jobs and lives
I have so many things to say
To these strangers that will listen
But my fingers don’t move and my cables don’t connect
And I can’t get out what it is I want to say
Instead I make jokes
Little jokes, unacknowledged, maybe their protection from me
Let me tell you about Christian school.
Where it’s required to believe in Jesus.
The same they know to be a friend
He’ll be yours when all the others stare with blank eyes waiting for something to happen
Dissent unseen or unspoken from the words of the unstable childhood parental teachings
I will listen to your faith
I see it and I see the way you are
They never match
Tired brain from a bit too much sleep doesn’t work quite as paced as the brain from solid rest.
I lose my vision of the ties that bind around me
It’s all dulled and mulled
I try to wake it up with pop and zips and snaps
Instead it just sorta kinda sits there
And I feel it sitting
She said she’s never seen this sweater before
She bought me this cardigan
She says that it looks nice, she couldn’t wear that color
She says she’s so proud of me
She’s trying to say anything to get me out of my head
She never knew how to talk to me
Not at me